THE COURAGE TO EXAMINE YOUR  CONSCIENCE

There come moments, at night or when alone, or, in the silence of of the country, where we cannot help but pass judgement on ourselves. But those, whose conscience is no good, avoid this by immersing themselves in externals. Hence, the reluctance of such persons to be alone  with themselves. They hardly ever enter into themselves, and partly because they have no centre of personality. They search for constant distractions, or something “to make one forget”, like turning their attention on others, criticising them, falsely accusing them. In this way they themselves will not be the focus, but they try to put others in the limelight.

They search for constant distractions, or something “to make them forget”, anything to keep the wound below the surface ... and the memories from flying upward into consciousness. This very tendency to deny guilt orto suppress it, or to ridicule the fact of sin, is intself a fear of judgement.  No omne is expected to speak, today, of a man giving an account of himself to his Creator, any more than he is expected to speak of cancer.

Each person has one day to give an account of himself to God. Many Aare those who do not want to hear about this, like Louis XIV, they do not wish death to be mentioned in their presence. All the veils which hide us from each other, or from ourselves, all the false excuses we have had for our sins ... will melt away at the glance of the Divine eye. Nor will the accounting be arbitrary, capricious or external. It will be self-registering, automatic. We shall see ourselves as we really are. Our daily living is forging our judgement.

Adapted from the Writngs of Fulton J. Sheen